I often wonder how much about myself I should reveal on this little blog of mine. I initially started writing it as I wanted to share my forays into the world of sewing and quilting. However, over time, it has evolved and now I tend to write about anything that I find particularly interesting. But I always try to present the ‘good bits’ rather than anything negative and, indeed, having read other blogs, I think that other bloggers tend to do this too. The only time that I have deviated from the chirpy personality that I try to portray was in this post which was written during one of the most difficult periods of my life to date.
Things improved, however, and I returned to my light-hearted manner of writing about my adventures (or misadventures) in sewing.
Unfortunately, I once again find myself struggling and am finding it a little difficult to remain positive. Having been through this battle once, I do have some coping techniques and I know that all will improve soon. One of the worst symptoms of this illness, however, is utter exhaustion and the total lack of motivation to do anything useful. There has been very little singing over the past few weeks (a sure sign that I’m feeling low) and, worst of all, I had to miss the Festival of Quilts. Since I look forward to this more than I look forward to Christmas, you can imagine my utter devastation. To try to make it up for this, the husband did take me to a wonderful shop called Quiltessential in which copious amounts of fabric was purchased (therapy of course…) and I have tried to do a little sewing when I can but I don’t have a great deal of stamina right now.
As I haven’t had a great deal of energy, I’ve been reading my sewing magazines and other blogs and the content of one post in particular resonated with me. It was written by Melanie McNeil of Catbird Quilts. The particular entry that I’m referring to can be found at:
Melanie explains her reasoning for her tagline ‘Be Powerful. CREATE’:
“I find creation to be powerful. My tagline on my blog is “Be powerful. CREATE!” I mentioned when we visited in July about my work to regain my personal power after my illness. And I have found that expression through writing and designing, and transforming ideas and colors and shapes into tangible objects is one of the primary ways [for me] to build power.
I keep pushing my personal boundaries of what I can do. That growth makes me more powerful and MORE OF THE PERSON I AM.”
(Re-written here with the kind permission of Melanie McNeil of Catbird Quilts)
I completely agree with her. The last time that I was poorly, I found that sewing became a sort of therapy. For months, I did nothing. I couldn’t do anything. But my counsellor encouraged me to try small projects and to start writing again and little by little, things got better. Melanie is completely right. Creation (in whatever form) is powerful. So this time, I am trying to still do a little creating. I have baked a banana cake (seriously good recipe on bbc good food). I have done a little log-cabin quilting and I have made a couple of cushions. As Melanie says ‘All I know is that creation helps me become myself. And becoming myself is powerful.’ The last time I was poorly, I lost myself. I forgot who I was and it was a very long process to re-discover my abilities and my confidence. The time, I am determined not to allow this to happen. I hope that I will soon begin to feel very much better and I hope that ‘creating’, whether I’m sewing, writing, baking or singing, will help me in this process.
So, no pictures today I’m afraid but just a little post for those who might be going through something similar. Sometimes, even when you don’t feel like doing something, if you can find just a little motivation then it is amazing how much it can help. The day that I baked the banana cake was a difficult one. But I was so proud of myself that I managed to get the ingredients together in a bowl and make a delicious cake. It was half an hour out of my day but it was half an hour when I felt like myself again.
My thanks again to Melanie for her inspirational post and her kind permission to allow me to quote some of her wording in my own post.